Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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