she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
