yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
