If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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