just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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