But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
