somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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