If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
