His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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