I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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