Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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