And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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