Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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