I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
