I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
