It's Friday. Sex?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
