She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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