a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
