I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
