tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
