I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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