Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
