he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize