she was so not down for the gang bang
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
