i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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