I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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