But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
