good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
