wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
