I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
