He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
as a side note pls kill me
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