I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
