she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
