This girl is more easily done than said...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
