I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
