I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize