Do vagina's smell?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
