9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
