I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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