"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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