So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
