I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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