He uses pillows to masturbate.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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