who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
