Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Randomize
