my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
