he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
