I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize