We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
