i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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