His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
