okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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