im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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