Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
