Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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