did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can I color on your dick again?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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