fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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