Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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