are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
