Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There r osticjed everywhere
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
