I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
