I'm drive I can fine osifer
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
