we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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