i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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